Lost Heart

For those who have been reading my blogs about my job hunting these past weeks--Thank you so much! =) But I want to tell you some other things that does not really play around my mind but more of my heart. When I was I kid what I wanted to become was a Businessman. A person who has the money and the brains to put up any business and will always succeed. I have a strong desire for money but more so with helping people. How? By being a good boss and giving what your people deserve. I guess that's the reason why my parents was able to convince me to become a Nurse. The first two years of nursing was really hard and I got to the point when I told my Mom that I wanted to shift to another course but she did not really listen but just told me that I might learn to love it later on. So, I went on to continue the course until I went through my internship. True enough, I've learned to love being a Nurse. Knowing that you are healing people.

Let me sway around a bit, Doctors cure, but Nurses heal. We are always the one in direct contact with the patient and relatives. We listen to their outburst and random thoughts. We touch them whenever necessary. We speak when needed. But I also realized that Nurses are under appreciated. People always talk about how good the doctors are, here in the Philippines at least. Come to think of it. Doctors only come to the patient's room once a day and spend 5-10 minutes with him/her, write his observations and orders and leaves. Then nurses carry the orders out. Then the thing is, when the order is erroneous and we failed to notice it, it backfires to the nurses. If the relative asks for their doctor and the doctor fails to make his rounds, we are in the crosshairs of the relatives. There was also this one time when a doctor told me "Don't you know that what I am doing is more important than what you do?!" in all his anger looking for the patient's chart when I was trying to finish my charting because I did his orders and I didn't know that he was already there looking for it. What the hell was that? Can he imagine a hospital without nurses? These are few of the things that I've come to realize.

Going back to what I was talking about before. It feels really good just hearing your patient say "Thank you so much for looking after me" just as he is moving out of his room on a wheelchair. It was priceless the first time I heard it. It melted my heart and it was like a dose of epinephrine that suddenly boosted my already tired body from a long duty. I get this from time to time until I finished my degree but this was not enough to make me want to pursue nursing any further. Yes, I took the board exam, became a Licensed Nurse, now a licensed Intravenous Therapist but I still don't feel the contentment from all of it. I was like "Ok, so, I have finished all of these, now what?" Just before I started to write all of this down, I was thinking of having a job wherein I personally help people. Like being in WHO or something. I'm not really sure. I think since I took up nursing I lost my direction. I don't know where to go from here. I don't want to be a Nurse--for now.

**No offense to Doctors but these are based from my experience and I'm not saying that all of you are like that. I also have friends who are doctors and they are really nice. =)**

First day of training.

So there, I had my first day of training in Company A. It was kinda fun and it was challenging as well. We discussed three of the products and was told that we will be having an exam with regard to the discussion--written and oral. I was ok with that, given the results of my first exam that day, I am sure that I can get through with it. But come Tuesday, I did not show up to them again. Its not about the schedule, not the people but the heavy traffic. You see, on my way to the office it will take me an hour and a half plus another half if its a Monday--that's bearable. What freaked me out was the heavy traffic on my way home. It took me an hour from the office to the nearest bus station and another 2 hours or so from the bus station to our home! Should there only be a moderate flow of vehicles, it would only take me an hour from and to the office but 5 hours of total travel time?! I can manage the 2 hours travel from our house to the office and expect me to perform exceptionally for 8 hours. Then I'm expected to study products when I get home, sure! But after 3 hours of travel, you've got to be kidding me.

Don't get me wrong though, I still tried. I woke up early the following day to study, but I was just too tired. So I got back to sleep again and it was the end of it. Now. Again, I'm back hunting for a job. Tsk! So it was my first and last day of training.

Oh yeah, I just launched my second blog. It is all about cars. Well, it will be mostly cars here in the Philippines but I will try if I can cover others as well. Hope you will give it a visit.

Take care everyone!!

Job Hunt, 3

**Sorry for not being able to post for days.**

Total companies I applied for: 19. Three(Let's name them as A, B, and C with respect to the date they called.) of them called for initial interview. After a couple of days, the A and C called again for a final interview and so far company A already called for the start of training in my applied position. It will start on Monday but I'm expecting that company C will call next week also for my training since my interview with them also went well. I was interviewed there by a Malaysian and a Pinoy. The Malaysian was very aggressive in the interview but I was used to talking to people like that so I was able to handle the interview quite well. Maybe that was the reason the girl who was interviewed before me looked surprised and pale. Should they call next week, I might consider their company over company A since company B is a bigger company, I'm still not sure though.

While my interview in company B was disappointing because the interviewer was on a rush because she needs to be in a meeting a few minutes after the interview. I was the third one to be interviewed and the rest were asked to come back after lunch. The interview only lasted for 5 minutes--what the?! That's why I'm planning to write them a letter with regard to it. I think that was very unprofessional. Theys asked me to come in business attire at 9am and she even told me "Don't be late!". So guess what, I waited for almost two hours for a lousy 5 minute interview and without a call after that. Although I was told by a co-applicant, who happens to know someone from company B, that the reason the company was not able to call was everybody went to Baguio for a vacation and will comeback this Sunday.

Anyway, I was not able to take photos when I was in Manila. Sayang! But I promise to take photos when my training starts.